“I’ve been here before… As I circle around to another year I get a sense of deja vu. I’ve done this before. Around the same time last year, I was staring at my computer, fidgeting, pacing, and struggling to write out my letter of intent for Grad school, but where I once felt rushed and uncertain I now feel confident and resolved.”
These are words I had written to myself a couple of months ago while I was applying to my masters of architecture. I find myself reflecting on them, as after 3 years my first year of grad school nears. It seemed to me like everyone I knew from school had already gone and graduated.
“I am terribly behind.”
It took me a while to realize that my pace, while maybe slower than others, was no less worthy or significant. In my heart I knew I was not ready and it was in that true knowing and following of my own path that provided me with peace. When you compare your successes instead of using others as a motivator it can be a heavy weight. I have recently been told to focus on BEING rather than DOING. Growth is important, but let’s not climb just to sit at the top and look down on everyone.
Who are you? Who do you want to be as a human?
I am ready. This is the most important lesson I’ve learnt during my three years. Patience in oneself. There is such pressure to go through life in the fast lane while the people in the slow lane get glared and honked at. I had to shift my focus from “the years I’ve lost” to the years I’ve gained. Will I be a genius in grad school because I’ve become more mature? Oh, I make myself laugh! No, definitely not, (fine I’ll throw a maybe in there) but I realize I don’t have to be and even more so the answer is not entirely up to me.
…because, let me hear it, shout it in your room!
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:13